I put a french press filled with water in the microwave for 2 minutes. I don’t know if there’s anything technically wrong with microwaving a french press… but it just feels wrong.

When the microwave chimed, I started spooning coffee grounds into the french press. I should point out the the coffee was pre-ground “Uban” brand coffee in a pop-top can. The 30 ounce can cost me something like $6. Less than premo, one might say.

Now when I went to stir the grounds I realized that the water was not nearly as hot as I had assumed. It was less like hot tea than it was like warm milk. “No big deal,” I thought, “I’ll just give it an extra few minutes to steep before I drink. It will all even out.”

Ten minutes later I realized that I had completely forgotten about the coffee. I tossed aside my keyboard, pressed down the filter on the french press, grabed a mug off of my desk and poured. At this point I realized two more things:

1. My coffee had the pallor of a light beer.
2. The mug I had found sitting on my desk was the one I had used the previous day to eat chicken noodle soup.